Cold Cell
by Cedechan
Summary: Duo is captured, and put in a cold, dingy cell with no windows, no people, no light and no life for two years. His journey to recovery is hard and painful and an emotional roller coaster for his friends, who stand back and endure his wrath.-- *Please R&R*
1. Cold Cell

After two years in solitary confinement, Duo was a mess. His face was gaunt with the great amount of weight he had lost from the malnutrition and abuse. His one lean muscular build was reduced to a little more than skin and bones, and the dark circles under his eyes exaggerated the gauntness of his cheeks. The cell he was kept in was cold and damp. No blanket was provided for him, and after many torturous months of laying on hard cold steel, Duo was sure he was running a fever, and he hoped every day to die. He shivered.

His walls were all steel, and he had no window. The only light was from the tiny window on the door, there was no light bulb. He had a bucket to do his business in, and there was a flapping door, too small for a poodle, on the bottom of the door so he could have some food.

He only got two meals a weeks, and once a week the guards would come and interrogate him for the information that they kidnapped him for. He just wanted to go home. He ached from the numerous scars, cracked or badly healed broken bones and current the scabs all over his body. These men, who kidnapped him weren't afraid to torture their victim. Once, maybe twice a week, for two years adds up to a lot of pain.

It started when Duo was given some important information two years ago. It was a Preventers classified mission, and he had been given the chore of hiding it somewhere safe. He was able to persuade Une into giving him the money to open a bank box in Switzerland, which is the safest place on earth to hide stuff.

Some how it had leaked that Duo was the one with the information, but he had been kidnapped one day too late. When he was kidnapped, the papers were already in the bank, where it could stay for years. He didn't recognize the people who kidnapped him, the people who interrogated, or the men who beat him once a week.

It was Hell.

When he was first kidnapped, he was confident that after a week or so, his fellow Preventers would come and get him out. That first week came and went. Then the first month, then the first year.

Where were they? He constantly wondered to himself. Why hadn't they come for him?

He had given up hope. After the first year, a year without a bath, he stopped caring about his braid. His hair that he was always so mindful about, just hung in a tangled dirty mess from his head. Until one day the guards came and threatened to cut it all off if he didn't talk. He didn't say a word, so they shaved his head, and broke his wrist. It had grown back, but it barely reached his shoulders.

All day long Duo sits along the wall of cell, and mumbles to himself. "Where are they? Where are they?"

Was he losing his sanity? He tried at the beginning to keep him self occupied so he wouldn't go down that road. But with nothing to read, watch, and no one to talk to, for two years, reality was slowly starting to slip by him.

Staring mindlessly at the wall, Duo came out of his stupor when he felt the building shake. Out of fear, he scooted to the far corner away from the door. His cell was mostly sound proof. He could make out the sounds of gun shots and vibrations of running men. Voices were incomprehensible as they rushed past his door.

There was an explosion right outside his door, and smoke poured in and the door nearly flew off its hinges. Having more time in isolation than in contact with light and sound, Duos eyes and ears were now very sensitive. His ears began to ring after the explosion, and the smoke burned his eyes. The bright light didn't help his visibility.

He couldn't hear any voices, but he could barely make out a black figure in the smoke as is came closer to him. The figure reached down and touched his arm.

"No, not today!" he yelled, pleading as he pulled away and curled up in the corner. "Please not today! Don't touch me!" he covered his head, as he screamed the words. He could barely hear himself say them, the ringing was beginning to fade, and as the figure went to grab his arm again, Duo heard a familiar voice. It was distant, but there was no mistaking that voice.

He hadn't heard it is two horribly long years.

"Duo," it said, "Duo, it's us!" the voice called out to him, and he moved his arms from his head to look up. The smoke had settled, the ringing had died, and all that was left was the faces of his old friends. Heero was knelt down next to Duo, his right arm stretched out, touching Duo lightly on the arm.

Heero had a worried but happy look on his face, the others did too. Quatre, Trowa, even Wufei stood there all with the same face. Relief.

It took a while, as Duo stared at their faces looking for any signs that they were a figment of his imagination. When he finally took Heero's hand, the look on his face was indescribable.

Pain, anger, betrayal and confusion.

Heero pulled Duo to his feet, but Duo just collapsed forward into Heero's arms. They quickly realized how weak their friend had become. He was skin and bones, barely the man they once knew.

Trowa and Heero carried Duo out to the van they had waiting, while Wufei and Quatre covered them.

"Where were you?" was the only thing Duo said to them. He repeated it over and over again. They tried explaining to him, but no words seemed right.

The only thing he heard was "We're so sorry Duo. So sorry,"

*NOTE- This is not the original. I've re-written this chapter, so its better.*


	2. The Fever runs deep

They took him straight to Sally. He was almost delirious, and it hurt them to see their friend in such condition.

The mumbling hadn't stopped as they entered the car, or when they carried him into Sally's office. Whenever they would go to touch him he flinched and whimpered in pain, which signaled to the former pilots just a glimpse of some of the things Duo had gone through.

They had absolutely no idea what he had gone through. As the phrase goes, "to hell and back," which was exactly how he felt, and more. Oh how his body ached. With soft hands touching him instead of a 2-by-4, the numbness that once kept him from feeling constant pain, brought down their defenses, and he now felt every scar, cut, bruise, and broken bone. Through his eyes, Quatre even looked bigger then him and the 04 pilot had always been smaller.

He couldn't keep himself from mumbling the nonsense that floated from his mouth. It was like his body, his brain, which had no one to converse with or touch, was suddenly going through a release and he couldn't stop it. Sometimes it wasn't even clear words that he said, but just mumbling. His tongue felt heavy, as if it were made of cotton.

He scanned the room that he had been taken to, and recognized the face of Sally Poe. Oh how long it had been since he had seen that face. The voicesthat floated around him seemed to be muffled, like he had earplugs in his ears. He could make out what they were saying, it was just sounded so far away.

"Sally can you help him?" Wufei asked her urgently . She was observing Duo with shocked eyes, and tears had gathered at the corners.

"Physically yes. Something can be done. But mentally…" she stared at him with forlorn eyes. " I don't know." They cut Duo's shirt off of him, and stripped him of his pants. The scars and cuts revealed them selves and it seemed as if they covered every inch of him. They could smell a stench on him, the smell of being stuck in a small cell without so much as a bath in two years.

Slowly and tenderly Sally began to clean his body with a sponge then dress his wounds, being careful and stopping every time he winced or cried out.

Heero, who hadn't taken his eyes off of Duo since the moment they found him, stared at the dullness of Duo's once brilliant violet eyes. They kept moving as if Duo had no control of his nerves. He felt his face get hot with frustration, and he excused himself from the room. He wiped the tear that formed with the back of his hand. He couldn't stand the heat that fogged his head. He never realized that trying to hold back tears, caused your head to get dizzy, and your nose to grow hot.

"Heero, its alright to cry," It was Quatre, and he was standing with a tear running down his own cheek.

"Do you see him in there Quatre?" Heero pointed toward the room, "'Why couldn't we find him faster? Why?" he nearly screamed, and he knew that the tears had retreated, and only anger remained… again. For two years anger and frustration boiled in his chest.

"We tried Heero! It is not our fault that every time we got some suspect they would commit suicide before we could get anything out of them. It's not our fault that that corporation never left paper trails, and never used computers! We tried!" Quatre cried at him, recapping all of their futile attempts.

"We could have tried harder." Heero mumbled sullenly and turned away and walked back into the room.

Lying on the cushioned bed hurt Duo's back. He wasn't sure why, but he guessed that hard surfaces were the only things he'd be able to sleep on from that day forward. His body finally began to recover from the shock, his tongue began getting easier to use but his body still ached, no matter how gentle Sally was.

He heard Sally say something about his mentality. He thought to him self that he would get better, but when he tried to voice this he found that his body wouldn't respond. And suddenly as if the wind had blown through the room, his mind collapsed as a fever chilled his body. He felt his body writhe on the bed, and heard Sally's cries for someone to get blankets, hot water and rags.

How long would this endure?


	3. Rat

"So you want to tell us now?" came voice that haunted him during his sleep. He was on his knees, and they ached from being on the cold steel floor for what seemed like ages. He found it hard to catch his breath as he kneeled under the yellow spot light. He couldn't see past the light ring, and his tormentors circled in the dark around him.

"No" was his reply, and from the left he received a swift punch to the jaw that sent him falling to the ground.

"Just because you were a 'great' gundam pilot back in the day, doesn't mean your sorry little ass isn't immortal or immune to pain. Why don't you just tell us what we want to know, and we wont have to continue this tireless game of cat and mouse." Duo felt his right hand being pressed down by bottom of a leather boot, and he cried in pain as he felt a finger break.

"No!" Duo screamed again, and the foot lifted. Someone grabbed by what was left of his collar, and brought him back to the kneeling position, and his body swayed. " I won't tell you," he said

"Well we'll get it out of you sooner or later, Rat. I have all the time in the world. You unfortunately, I think you can only survive so long. And we'll get him out of that Jail. Oh we will. Then were going to come back, and destroy the Preventers. Those _wonderful_ people you try to protect, but I guess they're not repaying the favor. Where are they? Why haven't they come for you yet? Ha- I bet you they don't even care anymore. Well until next time Rat. Have fun in the your hole," after his short speech, he laughed cruelly and walked out the door. Two men came up to Duo, and put him in cuffs, and dragged him away to his cell.

The steel room smelled of a man who hadn't washed in months, and as the smell reached Duo's nose it made him sick to know he was the cause.

They uncuffed him, and tossed him in roughly, as if he were a rag doll.

With all the strength he could muster, Duo crawled to the door, and tried to bang on it. It seemed more like a light knocking, but Duo sat next to the door knocking for what felt like an eternity "Let me out. Let me out,"

Tears were rolling down his face when his eyes opened, and he was covered in sweat. Hilde was sitting at his bedside holding his hand, with tears rolling down he own face.

"Please make the pain stop!" he cried, and she came up and embraced him in her arms. "Please make it stop. Make it go away. Please." Though he was aware Hilde was crying on his shoulder, his body was disobeying him again, and he couldn't stop writhing in the bed. Another restless night, the dreams keep coming, and he felt like he will never escape the confines of that wretched cell.

That horribly cold cell.

"Please,"


	4. The Light

"Hmm, lets see, what will it be today? I honestly can't decide," the mock voice said, echoing around the room. "2-by-4? Or a whip, like the old medieval times."

Duo was on his side, holding his stomach after they had kicked him repeatedly. His breathes where short and labored. Where they really trying to kill him that slowly? That painfully?

" I got an idea boss," a deep voice said, "What if we flip a coin about it? Heads 2-by-4, tails whippy thingie."

The man rubbed is chin considering the idea, then that smirk spread across his face. That smirk, that Duo saw even when he shut his eyes. His skin was cold from lying on the steel ground, and Goosebumps covered his skin.

"Not a bad idea. Anyone got a quarter?" he asked and Duo heard the men rummaging their pockets. He listened as footsteps got closer, and watched as the small coin was exchanged between the men.

A Quarter… at least he knew what country he was in.

"Alright boys! Here it goes!" the man laughed and he flipped the coin into the air, caught it, and turned it over on the top of his hand.

"Heads." He grumbled, then put the quarter in his pocket. " I'm a fair man, I'll go with the 2-by-4, even though I have admit I wanted Tails. Hand me the board." Duo rolled on his back and stared into the light as another man with big shoulders gave him the 2-by-4 and then he focused his attention on Duo.

"Now, now Mr. Gundam… if you tell us there the papers are, I wont have to strike you with his board." He was holding it by one end and was tapping his other had lightly with the other end. "What do you say?"

"Fuck…. You…" Duo spit out then cringed as he heard a grunt and saw the outline of a board in the light.

"Duo… DUO!" someone was shaking his shoulders lightly and his eyes snapped open.

"Get of f me! I'm not going to tell you!" he yelled then tried to struggle. But he soon realized he was being held down, and someone was pleading with him to 'please stop'.

He stopped moving, and his eyes scanned the room. The hospital. He was out of breath, and was breathing deeply. He felt the cold sweat all over his body.

The next thing he noticed was Heero holding his right arm, and Trowa holding down his left. They were staring at him apologetically, and once they realized he was okay, they let him go.

He was getting better at least. It was three weeks since they had rescued him and slowly he was beginning to calm down. The only problems came at night. When he would go to sleep.

The nightmare came to him waves, crashing into him and tearing him apart. Every time it was a different memory and every time he felt as if he was reliving it.

"Duo, are you alright?" Heero asked with a worried voice. None of them had stopped worrying since they brought him back. Hilde was especially broken up, but she sat next to his bed while he slept silently wiping away the tears she fought to hold back.

"I'm… I'm okay," Duo managed his tongue feeling heavy. Trowa handed him a cup with a straw, and Duo took a sip from it, as Trowa held the cup for him. He still hadn't gathered enough strength, but physical repair could come later.

Right now all they wanted was for Duo to be in peace.


	5. The Canvas

White wash-

He looked at the paint on his fingers, and then looked back at the canvas that he had been painting for the past two hours. There wasn't much on it. Lots of slashes of color, lots of colors, they almost looked angry. The slashes reminded him of knives, daggers, and cuts. How could simple painting express so much? He hadn't even put that much thought into what he was painting, he just took the brush and let the paint flow.

Dark purples crossed over the deep blues and greens. The red paint dripped in lines down the canvas, covering the light peach stripes he had made. It reminded him of blood dripping from his skin. In some areas the wet paint mixed together creating a swirl of color, which looked like a mix of emotion or noise.

He made two circles with the black paint, and when he looked down he realized it was the wheelchair he was sitting in.

Duo sat back and looked at it. It was pretty but it held so many messages. He could feel the anger emanating from it, the anger he thought he had forgotten.

He was finally able to get out of the hospital bed after five weeks, but he was still confined to a wheel chair. "Stupid cast" he mumbled tapping on the hard white plaster that covered his left leg from his hip to his toes. He looked again at his multi colored fingers then directed his attention to the painting.

He needed something to do with his time while the others were finally sent back to work. Une was getting restless with her best agents taking leave, so she finally had to insist that they return to work. Sally was able to get Duo all sorts of things to do, but so far painting was the only thing that could keep him occupied.

He felt the anger again, and took in a deep breath. They were his friends. He wasn't going to get mad. They tried to find him. They tried…**but not hard enough Dammit!** He buried the thought immediately. No, no don't get mad. He looked at the painting, and swallowed hard. How long could he bury the feelings? How much long would it be till he finally snapped and released all the anger?

He had started the painting with a coat of dark blue paint. It was a thin coat, and you could still see the white canvas behind it. That sort of how he felt. Depressed all the time, and almost transparent to him self. Sure trauma changed people, but he had not idea how long it would continue.

He grabbed another brush, got it wet, and dipped into the white paint. He hadn't used it yet. Once he got enough paint on it, he swept the brush across the canvass covering the colors, covering the sadness and the anger. He kept painting till no more color showed, and it was only white.

"There," he said with a small smile. He signed the bottom of the painting with a simple "DM" and set it the floor. " That's number four," he said before turning the wheel chair around, and leaving behind four white washed pictures.


	6. Eraser

**Okay here it is! Finally I got this written. Its been floating in my head forever. Sorry for the wait!**

**Cedechan**

__

Eraser

Staring at a blank piece of paper, Duo held the pencil pensively, and wiggled it between his fingers. Being asked to write out his feelings was a lot harder than he had thought. After repressing his feelings for three months he felt reluctant to let them go.

He drew a triangle in the corner of the paper, and before he realized it, there was a small city with blimp inhabiting the top of his paper.

"Dammit," he cursed and crumpled it, and added it to the waste basket beside him which was already half full of identical crumpled papers.

"You know, you're going to eventually run out of paper," he heard Trowas voice say from the door way, and he looked up to see his long banged companion.

"Then you can get me more," Duo said sarcastically through a false smile.

"Well I could, or you could just start writing what Sally requested,"

"Well I don't want to write it. Since when are my feelings anyone else's business?"

"Frankly Duo, I agree. But Sally feels that you're retreating and she wants you to emerge with your feelings… or something like that." Trowa said revealing that he had been sent. Slightly let down and not sure why, Duo looked at Trowa.

"You can leave now." Duo said turning away from him, "I'll get it done eventually. Tell Sally to just to wait. I just have to talk my self into it. Its harder to do then she thinks."

"Right." Trowa said, sort of put off by Duo's sudden cold shoulder. He left and closed the door behind him.

"Thank god," Duo mumbled, relieved to be alone again. He thought back to the time when he hated being by himself. He would follow the others around just so he'd feel like he was alone. Now he tensed up when ever someone entered the room and he secretly wished for them to leave.

Sitting back in his wheel chair he focused on the eraser sitting uselessly on top of the desk next to the blank pieces of paper. Zoning out, his mind began to wander.

"Please! You give me this assignment, and then don't give me the materials needed to protect it?"

"Duo, do you understand how expensive one of those are?" Lady Une asked exasperated by Duo's request.

"Yes I know." He tossed papers onto her desk, "Premium is 1,999 Swiss francs, or $1,000. And the Classic account is 899 francs or-"

"I know how to convert money Duo. The Preventers don't have extra money like that to throw around."

"You're not throwing it around," he argued, "You told me to protect it from Mussolini-,"

"That's Mouchalini," Une corrected.

"Right. You tell me that they're extremely dangerous because they'll do anything to get the papers incriminating their boss so he won't get sent to jail. That we need to hold the papers until the trials. Getting a Swiss Bank account is one of the safest ways to do this." He continued to argue his case until finally Une gave in.

"You'd make a fair lawyer Duo," she commented as she wrote the heavy check and placed into Duos hands. "You can take the Preventers Jet, but have it back by tonight. No messing around is Switzerland. I need to make a trip to India tomorrow morning."

"Yes ma'am!" he said with a silly grin over his success.

Charging out of the room, Duo almost ran into Quatre who had his nose buried in a Company Management Book.

"Whoa- Duo where are you going in such a hurry?" Quatre asked watching the long braid disappear around the corner.

"That's Top secret!" he heard the reply. "I'll tell you when I get back!" laughing at Duo, Quatre continued to his office.

Switzerland was fun for the few hours that he was there, but knowing the documents were safe; Duo felt a huge weight lift off his chest as he stepped back onto home soil.

"You Duo Maxwell?" a deep voice echoed towards him. Duo spun around quickly, pulling out his gun and aiming it where the voice came from. The preventer's hanger was dark, and he couldn't see very much. Suddenly a flashlight turned on and shined directly into his eyes. "I'll take that as a yes." The light bobbed towards him as the owner walked closer.

"Who are you?" Duo demanded still holding his gun steady.

"You don't want to know. But there is something that you can help us with, and if you cooperate then we won't have to crack your skull." There was a haughty laugh.

Duo tightened his grip on his gun as he sensed more than one person approaching. Suddenly five more flashlights turned on, and blinded Duo even more. Still trying to hold his gun steady with one hand, he tried to fight the light blinding him.

"What do you want?" he asked hoping to God that they weren't who he thought they were.

"The papers."

"What papers?" he asked feigning innocence.

"You know what papers. Don't play Dumb." the voice said growing increasingly threatening. Duo heard footsteps behind him, and his fear suddenly rose as he heard the sound of a gun cocking, "Oh yes Mr. Maxwell. Drop the gun." Duo felt a barrel press against his back and he reluctantly put his arms up and let the gun hang from his forefinger. Someone from behind took the gun from him.

"I don't have them." Duo said truthfully.

"Well I'll believe that. But I wont believe it when you say you don't know where they are."

"I don't," he said. There was a snap and suddenly Duo felt indescribable pain as a bat swung into his left arm.

"Want to reconsider your answer?" the voice offered but Duo kept his ground.

"I don't know where they are. I passed them off to someone in Europe!" Duo lied, another snap and he hit his knees when the bat was swung at the back of his leg. "Mmmft!" he tried muffling the scream wanting to escape.

"Well it doesn't look like your going to cooperate. We don't usually keep folks alive… but we need you." There was a round of laughter among the mysterious men, making Duo's pain increasingly worse as he knew what was coming.

"Bag him boys," the voice ordered and Duo agonizingly struggled to his feet with all his strength as strong arms tried restraining him.

"No!" he yelled as he fought the men. There was sharp pain over his head, and he slumped to the ground.

"No!" he jolted awake to find himself safely sitting in his wheel chair, in his room. Wiping the sweat from his face with the sleeve of his white t-shirt, he tried to calm himself by drawing on the blank paper. His hand trembled as he drew, but eventually he composed himself as he made circles, lines and jagged edges that filled the entire sheet. Like his paintings, he was about to erase it all when he heard a knock at the door. Looking up he saw Sally who looked apologetic.

"Hi Duo. May I come in?" without saying a word he nodded and she continued, "I wanted to say I'm sorry about sending Trowa in here after you. He told me you weren't too happy." Again his nodded, and feeling increasingly uncomfortable, Sally said, "About that thing I asked you to do. You don't have to. I just thought that it would help."

Looking at his un-erased sheet of paper, Duo held it up to Sally. "I'm done." He said simply then rolled himself out of the room.

"Oh Duo," she said in worry as she looked upon what he had given her. "Oh Duo."


	7. Confusion

"He drew this?" Quatre looked at the drawing, and then set it down on the table. Trowa picked it up next, and wondered what had happened to Duo in that room that made him draw such a picture. He hadn't left him for long, and when he left the paper was blank. What was it that triggered such anger? They had a basic grasp of what Duo as endured, but because of how vague Duo was being, there were many gaps.

"Alright look. Everything we are doing is not helping him at all. What are we going to do now? Let him suppress all of his anger? Obviously he's still mad at us." Heero said snatching the picture from Trowa and looking at the different shading between the sharp jagged edges.

"Why don't we just stop treating him like a glass doll, and piss him off enough so he lets it out. " Wufei suggested.

"And traumatize him further?" Quatre said shocked.

"If it'll work." Wufei said slowly.

"Well I disagree." Quatre defended his voice getting higher.

"When did you become a doctor Quatre? Since when has it been _just_ your call?" Wufei yelled. He stood up from the table and Quatre followed him, staring at him angrily.

"Stop it!" everyone turned their heads, and all eyes locked on Duo, standing in the doorway crouched on his crutches. "It's not anyone's 'call'. You talk about me as if I'm a sick pet you're trying to decide to put to sleep!" He stopped a moment to look at them all. Quatre and Wufei had sat down, their anger had immediately diminished and shame took over. "You want to know what I feel? You want to know what I fucking feel!" he yelled, "Well here it is. I hate you guys! I hate you! You have no idea what those people did to me, but I have secretly hoped that you would know. I wish you'd know what it was like to be beaten with a crow bar, to have your fingers broken one by one. You sit there asking me 'how are you' just hoping I'd get over it and get back to my old self. But that's not happening because every ounce of compassion I ever had has been sucked out me." His eyes flared. He closed them, and when he spoke next, his voice was softer, "I hate you guys. I'll never forgive you." His face went stone cold, eyes dull.

"Duo…" Heero started, but for once there were no words. They had gotten what they wanted.

"I'm leaving."

"Stop Duo!" Quatre cried out, as Duo turned and limped out the door. Quatre got up out of his chair and followed Duo. Trowa, Wufei and Heero weren't far behind as Quatre grabbed Duo's arm to stop him.

"Let me go!" Duo swatted at him, and Quatre let go but went in front of him to block his path. "Move," Duo growled in a dangerous voice.

"I'm not moving." Quatre said back, "Not till you listen to me."

"What more could you possibly say?"

"Why don't you see how they brain washed you? They made you think that we weren't trying. And even though we have told you over and over again that we were searching like crazy, you haven't believed us because of them. They never told you that they lost 78 men to us. We kept capturing them and every time they committed suicide. You think you're free, but you'll never be free if you think like that. Why don't you believe us?"

"You see, that's where you're wrong. I'm not free of them. I'll never be free."

"You can try Duo."

"I'd like to see you do it."

"I would at least try."

"I've been trying." Duo said in a suddenly unsure voice.

"Will you let us in Duo? Please? Can you please forgive us?" Quatre begged.

Duo looked back and forth between the guys who stood in the hall. The thoughts jumbled in his head. _If they didn't care about me, they would have let me go. But they didn't come! They left me there! But they tried? They don't…they do… _

"Duo!" they gasped, as Duo suddenly slumped over nearly hitting the ground before they caught him.

**Well here was #7. What did you think? What do you think is wrong with Duo? **


	8. Grin

When he woke, he felt the sun shining on his face, and he smiled lightly to himself. _Another wonderful day_, He thought, as he sat up in his bed. He looked at the bandages on his legs, and felt confused for a moment. Thinking, he remembered how he was captured. Shrugging, he grabbed his crutches from the side of the bed and lifted him self up. Hobbling over to the dresser, he slowly changed from his pajamas and headed to the door where his shoes were sitting. Just as Duo was about to open the door, it opened and he saw Quatre standing with a tray of food in the door.

"Good morning Q-man!" Duo said heartily, with a big a smile. Completely taken off guard, Quatre's lips twitched as he managed a surprised smile.

"D-duo what are you doing out of bed?" Quatre asked, walking into the room and setting tray down on the table in the far corner of the little room.

"Well I was about to go get some breakfast, but it looks as if it came to me" he said happily limping to the table. Sitting down, Duo began shoveling food into his mouth. Stopping for a moment he looked up at Quatre, "So what's the occasion?"

"Uhh, nothing really, I just thought you'd like something to eat after passing out yesterday." Quatre said trying to hide the alarm in his voice, "Duo, are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah I'm fine. A few bruises, bumps and broken bones, but nothing that wont heal. I passed out yesterday?" Duo asked completely oblivious, and Quatre took a deep breath. Something was wrong here. What was wrong with Duo? Amnesia? No, no there was something else….

"If you'll excuse me Duo I'll be right back," Quatre said, and walked out the door before Duo could answer him. He closed the door slowly, and he waited till he heard the click of the door behind him, before running as fast as he could to the breakfast hall where everyone else was.

When they saw Quatre burst through the hall doors, the pilots stood up worried, and ran to him. Quatre was only supposed to go give Duo some breakfast. He felt guilty about pushing Duo too far the day before, so he volunteered to take the tray. The chances were that Duo wasn't even going to be awake, so when Quatre came running, they could only assume the worst.

"What's the matter?" Heero demanded, and Quatre gave him an uncertain look.

"Its Duo, he's…" Quatre stopped to try and figure out the appropriate word. "He's… fine." He finished, and he received puzzled looks.

"What do you mean by fine?" Wufei asked, as they all walked back to the table, and sat down. "You didn't just run here to tell us that Duo's fine,"

"That's not what I mean by fine. He met me at the door, dressed, with a huge smile on his face. He looked happy, and he called me 'Q-man'... I haven't heard that in almost three years."

There was silence for a moment before anyone spoke.

"You think he-,"Trowa started but Heero cut him off.

"There's no way he suddenly forgave us over night. It could be amnesia, so one of us has to talk to him and figure out what's going on. If its amnesia then we have to help him." He said dismissing any hopeful thoughts.

"Do we really want do that though?" Wufei asked, "If he's happy, and remembers nothing, then cant we leave him like that?"

"But guys, he does remember things. That's why I don't think its amnesia," Quatre cut in, "Don't you think he would have asked me about the crutches, and why he still had some healing cuts? He remembers something… but I don't think all of it."

"That's a possibility Quatre," Sally's voice came from behind him. She was walking from hall doors, and she had a worried expression on her face. "I was just in there, and there is defiantly something wrong. He doesn't seem to think that there is anything wrong with him though. He seems to be expecting to go to work in a few days."

After discussing what they were going to do, everyone stood up and headed out. They had decided that Heero was going to go sit and talk with Duo, while everyone else returned to work, so Lady Une wouldn't get upset.

As Heero split from the group, he headed down the hall that lead to Duo's hospital room. As he passed the Gyms pool room, he heard a splash and stopped to glance inside the small window on the door. Floating away from the windows view, he saw a familiar, yet considerably shorter braid, so he opened the door and went inside.

Duo was holding the side of the pool, moving his legs in an outward position as if he were kicking the water. Looking up, he greeted Heero with the same large smile that he had greeted Quatre with. Heero stared for a second; reminiscing on how much joy that smile use to bring to others, before remembering the reason he was there.

"Hey Heero- come to join me?" Duo asked, continuing to kick.

"No not really, what are you doing?" Heero asked trying to start a normal conversation.

"Oh, just some physical therapy for my legs… if I'm going to get back to work any time soon, I'd like my legs to work properly." He grinned.

"Oh," Heero said. He decided to put his feet into to the pool, so taking off his shoes and socks, he rolled up is pant legs and sat on the edge of the pool. "So, Duo how are you doing with all this?"

"All of what?"

"You know… being captured, and being a prisoner for so long." Heero asked carefully, trying to see if Duo would admit how long he _thought_ he was gone. Duo smiled again, and waved a hand a Heero.

"Long? I'd hardly call two weeks all that long. Sure, they did some damage but I never told them, you guys came and got me, and it's all good."

"Two weeks huh?" Heero asked, but Duo had changed exercises and he didn't hear Heero as he dunked his head underwater and held himself there for a little. When he came back up, he asked, "Did you say something?"

"No," Heero lied, and Duo continued his exercises.

"Two weeks?" Trowa repeated later when Heero found him in his office. Trowa was putting papers through the paper shredder when Heero walked in. They called the others, but Heero told Trowa before the others arrived.

"Yeah, and he's working out. It so weird to see him like that again, it's almost as if none of this has happened, like a bad dream." Heero said, leaning against the wall.

"Well I did some research on memory loss, and there have been some studies that show that people can block out memories like Duo's to help themselves. Its not intentional of course, but their brains can sense what the memories are doing to their bodies and it blocks them. So maybe, Duo was fighting with himself. Remember how confused he was right before he passed out? He didn't know what to believe any more after Quatre told him the truth, and he didn't know if he could forgive us. So maybe his brain told him to block the memories, so that there would be no need for him to be upset at us, for him to be traumatized, and he wouldn't have to fight his feelings about forgiving us." Trowa said, handing Heero some of the papers he printed on the research.

"Maybe, that's a really good possibility Trowa." Heero said as the others came through the door. Heero told his story about Duo, then Trowa re-explained what he had said to Heero, and heads slowly nodded in agreement.

"That sounds like what has happened," Wufei mumbled, sitting in the wooden chair next to Trowas desk.

"So what are we going to do about it?" Heero asked, and everyone stayed silent. _What could we do?_ Heero thought to himself.

"I don't think there is anything we can do," Quatre said speaking for everyone in the room.

Wufei, Quatre, Heero and Trowa all looked solemnly at each other, undecided about what to do about their friend. Ideas slowly came from the group, but nothing seemed good enough, or they were too harsh. Feeling defeated, they decided that they would go along with Duo for a while until a real solution could be found.

They were all about to head out, when they heard the sound of crutches coming down the hall.

"Lets go," Heero said, and they all got up to leave.

"Hey guys!" Duo greeted them happily, as they entered the hall way and came face to face with him. Wufei and Trowa grimaced slightly at hearing their old friend so happy for the first time.

It had been so long….

* * *

Hey everyone, I'm so sorry about the long long long wait. School was an absolute Horror this semester, and as hard as I tried nothing really came to me. But here is Chapter 8. Merry Christmas. I hope you enjoy it. Sorry if you think its too short, I just like short chapters. Cant really explain that. Let me know what you think though!

Cedechan


	9. Truth or Lies

Truth or Lies

"Ok, so we are right back to where we started, except the circumstances have completely switched around," Wufei fumed, obviously frustrated.

All four pilots sat in Quatre's office with the door locked. Trowa leaned against the wall to the left of the desk, while Heero and Wufei stood in the middle of the room. Quatre sat at his desk, looking sadly down at his blank pad of paper, feeling guilty about pushing Duo over the edge.

"Maybe we should just play it out." Trowa suggested, "Why should we do anything to change what his body obviously wanted to use as a defense mechanism?"

"We can't just lie to him like that and pretend that everything is alright." Heero said blandly.

"Since when have you had a conscience about lying Yuy?" Wufei said with a testy tone in his voice. Heero glared at him, and he continued, "Glare all you want, but I agree with Trowa. As if we didn't we didn't do enough damage before, that put him over the edge, "Quatre flinched, "but now we want to traumatize him further by forcing painful memories back onto him?"

Wufei would never admit it to anyone, but he actually missed the old Duo. Being as right wing as he was about him life, he seemed to always be on the butt end of Duo's jokes, and sad to say, he missed the pranks.

"So you are okay with just letting him actually never coming to terms with what happened? Okay that he never truly forgave us?" Heero pressed.

"We don't even know if this is permanent so why should we speed up his return to hell? I just want him to be happy again!" Wufei yelled.

Quatre stood up slowly, and the other three watched as he walked around his desk and out the door with out a word to any of them.

Trowa, who had become a spectator of the argument, looked at the other two.

"I think that we have another problem. Quatre is putting too much of the blame on himself, and I've noticed he hasn't been eating. At least not for the last two days."

"Why on earth would he do that? This is something we all need to do together," Wufei said, growing more upset.

"He's always been like that. It's in his nature." Heero said quietly, and followed Quatre out the door.

Heero found Quatre walking slowly down the hall, and he jogged up to catch up with him. Quatre was staring at the ground, and his eyes were glazed.

"Heero," Quatre said before Heero said a word, "It all seems so pointless. We argue and argue and just never come up with a solution."

"We are trying the best that we can. This is something we have to be careful with, we can't just step lightly around this. You can not put all the blame on yourself. I know you, and I know you are putting way too much pressure on yourself. Wufei, Trowa and I have to deal with it too, so just don't take all the blame and guilt.

Quatre looked up at Heero.

"I don't think I've ever heard you say anything so nice before." He said with a smile, and Heero gave him a small smirk.

"Well, people change when their friends are in trouble."

Duo laid in the grass staring up at the clouds, the wind was blowing lightly making the branches on the trees sway slightly. His bangs tickled his nose as he smiled lightly to himself. This was relaxing.

All day, Duo had a strange feeling in his stomach, but he couldn't quite put a finger on it. Every once in a while when he turned his head, he'd have a small dizzy spell but he just attributed it to any concussions he may have received during his imprisonment.

Sitting up, he flinched slightly as his ribs pinched with pain. Grabbing his crutches, he slowly lifted himself up, but he felt a hand grab his waist, and he looked up to see Sally.

"Sally. How are you?"

"I'm doing alright. Was passing by and thought that you might need a hand." She smiled at him kindly. She wouldn't tell him that she was actually observing him to make she that he wouldn't have a relapse of any sort. After reading a few case reports of patients that had this 'select memory loss', she noted that there seemed to be a pattern of a rather quick relapse.

"I was just heading in for some lunch if you want to join me?" Duo offered, giving her a rather big a goofy grin. Duo's stomach turned again, and he halted again. Shaking it off so Sally wouldn't notice, he continued on walking alongside her.

They entered the building, and Sally looked at Duo and noticed he cheery demeanor had changed slightly.

"Duo are you alright?"

"Uh- yeah I'm alright. My stomach is hungry is all."

"Ok, well I'm going back to the clinic. Feel free to come visit if your feeling sick or anything alright?"

"Thanks. See ya later!" he said, and turned left.

The Hall was long, and about 40 feet ahead of him he saw Trowa walking into the cafeteria.

"T-Man!" Duo called to his friend, and Trowa stuck his head back out the door, saw Duo and waved.

Hobbling over on his crutched, Duo smiled and waved back.

"Whoa" he mumbled as his vision went a little blurry and his head began to spin. He had to stop and lean on the wall.

He blinked-

He was in a small cold room with no windows, his whole body ached.

He opened his eyes-

Trowa was coming to him about 30ft away.

He blinked-

A foot kicked into his side, knocking the air out of him, throwing him onto an already blood-stained ground.

He opened his eyes-

Trowa was running towards him, his mouth screaming something Duo couldn't hear.

He blinked-

The end of a whip cut into his bare chest several times, causng blood to spill at his dangling feet, as his arms stayed tied above his head.

He opened his eyes-

Trowa was holding him up by his shoulders, calling for someone to get help.

He blinked-

He's in the circle of light and a fist comes at him from the dark.

He opened his eyes-

He is staring at the ground, and he sees Trowa's legs next to his own that weren't holding him up, his crutches on the ground.

Everything goes black.

"He just started writhing," Trowa recounted, "there wasn't anything I could do."


	10. God of Death

Duo stayed asleep for fourteen days. He didn't move, he didn't sneeze or yawn, his vitals were fine despite the fact that he was barely breathing and he looked dead.

His four friends were forced to return to work, although it was not much of a fight because even they had to admit that the stress from taking care of Duo, was getting to them.

Hilde popped in every now and then to see him, but could never stay long, and Sally had other patients to attend to. So Duo lay there, alone in his dark room for fourteen days in a coma, and on the fifteenth morning when Sally was taking his vitals, his eyes flickered open.

"Duo?" Sally said quietly, staring at his eyes that were blank and dull. She quickly paged the guys, and while she waited she tried talking to Duo again.

"Duo? Are you ok? Can you hear me?"

He could hear her, but the truth was he didn't know if he was ok. For the first time in months, he felt sane. The hysteria had disappeared, and the denial did too. In his head he recounted everything that had happened since his rescue, the number of times he had flipped out, and passed out, and pretended that everything was ok, even when he didn't mean to.

For the first time he felt truly at peace with his life, his friends and he was ready… for revenge.

Heero met Trowa outside the door, and when they walked in Quatre and Wufei were already there talking to Sally. Duo was still lying quietly in the bed, and Sally wasn't sure if he was blinking.

"What's going on?" Heero asked.

"We were just wandering the same thing. But it turns out Sally doesn't know. He just opened his eyes, but isn't responding." Quatre answered. Sally excused herself to go check on something and they continued their discussion.

They had formed a circle to talk, and no one noticed as Duo looked their way, sat up, and got out of bed. It wasn't until he lightly hobbled over to them, and stuck his head into their circle between Quatre and Heero, that they noticed him and jumped back in surprise.

"Jesus Duo!" Quatre exclaimed clutching his chest. When he regained his composure, he added, "I see you're feeling well again,"

"Actually… I've never been better." Duo said giving them a small smile. He stared at his friends as they stared back at him, and he smiled a little more. Wufei looked a little agitated with him, which is how he liked it, and Heero and Trowa's faces didn't reveal much. "Aw come on guys. Stop being so serious, it'll make you look old." He said, but didn't laugh. He had to put an arm on Quatre's arm, to balance on his sore foot.

There was something different about him, and they all could tell. During his amnesia stage, he acted and spoke like the old Duo, but his eyes didn't have the same gleam to them. They looked dead.

During the war, Duo's eyes had two different kinds of gleams. The first kind being the happy-go-lucky Duo that put fake spiders in Quatre's dry cleaning. The other gleam was that of the God of Death, menacing as he sliced through enemies.

At that moment, the God of Death stared at them and a chill went through the room.

Unexpectedly, a wave emotion hit Heero and he took a deep breath. His best friend was back. "Glad you're back." Heero said, trying to hide how happy he was. Duo smiled.

"Thanks buddy," he said, his smile still small but happy. "Please guys, don't looked so shocked that I'm coherent." He said when he noticed that they still seemed uneasy. "I promise that I'm not going to crack. I'm done. I'm back. And I know exactly how I can back at those sons of bitches who snagged me and ruined my life."

The God of Death gleamed at them again. This got a little smile out of Wufei, and Trowa and Heero also grinned. Quatre was the last to smile, but his was the biggest.

Sally had returned to the room, and almost dropped her clipboard at the sight in front of her. Never in her life had she ever expected to see all five of them with smiles on their faces at the same time. One of them was rare enough. Ok, well Quatre and the old Duo smiled a lot, but it was always suspected that the other three were born without the ability to smile. Quatre didn't smile much after Duo was kidnapped, so Sally smiled.

"What's going on here?" she asked interrupting them, and they all looked up at her at the same time.

"Nothing. We're just happy." Duo said. "Is that a crime?"

"Er, no. How are you feeling Duo?" She asked him.

"I'm doing pretty freaking great Sally."


	11. Trowa's Story

"Ok, by revenge you mean personally stomping on the maggots that kidnapped you?" Heero asked as they sat around a table, trays of food in front of all five men.

"Well~ I was thinking of something a little more devious than just a direct battle." Duo said, stuffing half a bread roll into his mouth. "Was their boss Mouchalini ever convicted?"

"Well, they had enough to hold him for years, but the information you possessed and hid was never recovered so he was never given the life sentences he deserves for the murders he committed." Quatre answered. He remembered how hard it was for the Preventers to capture this mob boss. It was virtually impossible to get any proof that he was behind the murders of all six members of the Costello family. Until the day he slipped up, and while his Hench men were on their way to 'get' another family, the preventers hidden voice recorders caught Mouchalini reminiscing about the Costello's and others he had killed before he had hench men to do his dirty work.

Alright, well since most of them were able to escape when you guys showed up the where they were holding me, I know they will be out looking for me, if they don't already presume me dead. We need to get the information from Switzerland, and safely back into the D.A.'s hands. We should inform them that we are coming so they can arrange a court date."

"But- if we do that, Mouchalini's goons will know where we are." Wufei pointed out.

"Exactly." Duo smiled.

A few days later, the plan went into effect.

Quatre had called the New York D.A.'s office and informed them of the new developments with his business-like voice. They excitedly told him that they could have a court date ready in three days.

"That sounds perfect. See you then. We'll call when we have the documents."

Although he was mentally normal again, Duo was getting constant migraines. With the migraines came the occasional flash back. Fortunately, Duo was using the flash backs to try remembering more about the men.

Quatre and Wufei were sitting with him in Quatre's office, and they talked about everything going on. Wufei and Quatre started talking about some minute details, and Duo kind of zoned out…a migraine throbbed in his head.

* * *

Water Torture. It was a crude yet effective way to get your victims to talk. For everyone except Duo Maxwell that is.

Duo reflected back on his time in that cold cell, and things that had previously been wiped from his mind began to float back.

The torture method was not anything high tech, like they had in some governments. It was just a tank. Filled with dirty old water, they would submerge him, and keep him there until the brink of death. It was awful, the water would fill his lungs and he felt pain like he never felt before. But they always brought him back.

"Where did you put the tapes?" They would scream at him repeatedly. It didn't matter, the lack of oxygen to his brain gave him severe migraines, and he couldn't hear them anyway. The dirty water would spill from his lips as he coughed it out of his lungs.

Duo shook his head, clearing his mind of those thoughts. It made his queasy to think about the ordeals he went through. Sometimes he wasn't sure he was completely okay after all that. He was going to make those people pay for what they took from him.

* * *

Heero was walking down the hallway towards Quatre's office, when Trowa came up behind him.

"Heero, I think that its time we tell Duo that I know what the men look like. I mean, they did try to kidnap me too. Duo says he doesn't quite remember their faces…but I do."

Heero, who knew this conversation would eventually come up, turned around unsurprised. "Sure. I think if we are about to launch this mission…for it to go right we need you to identify the right guys. To help Duo out, if he can't take it."

Together they went into Quatre's office, where Duo and Wufei were already sitting and began to tell Trowa's story. About a year after Duo went missing, Trowa and Heero were investigating a lead. So far the pickings were slim. Every time they had a suspect, that person would die suddenly. They had split up as they investigated an abandoned factory. It was one of the holdings of Mouchalini, the criminal that started this whole mess.

When he was first arrested, it was on a fraud charge. They did not realize then, that he had the same power as the God Father himself. A snap of his fingers and people died. He was sentenced 3 years for the fraud, but the Preventers had uncovered valuable proof that would give him the death sentence. They had a voice recorder planted in a phone at his estate, and when he called from jail, it recorded a conversation he had…that put his head on a platter. That's where Duo came in. And that's how he disappeared.

Trowa was searching the bottom floor for clues, while Heero took the top. With his gun out in front of him, he checked every room. He went into, what he assumed use to be the managers office. When he entered, he was actually surprised that there was someone sitting on the desk. He was a thick burly man, with wispy blonde hair and a goatee.

"Hello there Mr. Preventer." He said with an evil smile. Still holding his gun out, Trowa spun around as the door slammed shut behind him. There were two more gigantic men standing at the door, they looked like bullets would just bounce off their skin. "Don't fight us, it's pretty futile."

"Says you." Trowa challenged, and he discreetly pushed the emergency button on his belt, that would tell Heero that he was in trouble. Tweedle dumb on the left took a swing at Trowa, but being so agile, he easily evaded the punch, and jabbed at the mans Adam Apple. He was already turning purple, as he gasped for air, his friend went for Trowa, but he was also too slow. Trowa took the butt of his gun, slammed it into his sternum, making the man double over in pain as it cracked. A shot rang out in the room, and Trowa felt the sting as a bullet ripped through his shoulder. His gun clacked as it hit the ground.

The blonde man walked over to him as Trowa grasped his shoulder and turned around to face him. The man's little blue eyes twinkled as he smiled. "Your friend is just as stupid as you are. Are all of you Gundam Pilots this idiotic? You think you're courageous, but truthfully, it's sadistic since cooperation is where you get the rewards. You're just asking for the pain."

"Where is Duo, you bastard!" Trowa gritted through his teeth. Blood was oozing between his fingers, and his shoulder throbbed.

"You will never find him. And I assure you, he is in a lot of pain right now. A lot. I'm taking personal care to make sure he has nightmares for the rest of his life, or what's left of it. I was hoping to take you to him, so you could persuade him to talk. He's being 'brave' too, he's all clammed up. But I might just kill you now, since you don't want to play the game." The Blonde man had his back to the main door and was about to raise his gun again, when Trowa saw a glimmer of metal from the door in front of him. Another shot echoed in the room and the man grasped his hand that the bullet had just grazed. His gun fell, but he didn't even turn, he just cursed, and darted to the left.

Heero rushed into the room, just to see a gray suit rushing out another door, to a runway behind the factory. Heero rushed after him, but the man was already climbing into a helicopter, that must have landed in the last five minutes. Heero took a few shots, but they just ricocheted off. Trowa followed Heero to the door and watched the helicopter take off.

"God Dammit!" Heero cursed, throwing his gun at the ground in anger. When they went back into the room, there was one dead man, and the other one must have crawled off. All they had was a gun with prints on it. But even that lead nowhere, since the prints matched to man who died 20 years ago.

Duo listened to the story in amazement. He felt that he knew the man Trowa was describing, but he couldn't even remember that much. He didn't know he was blonde, let alone had a goatee. When Duo was planning their mission, he hoped to get as many of the bastards as he could, but in the back of his mind he always thought that the leader, the one calling the shots would evade them. Now, maybe he won't…

"What do you think Duo, do you know this guy?" Wufei asked, reading Duo's face.

"I think so. Like I said, their faces are pretty blurred…mostly they worked in shadows. I gathered a few names when they slipped up. There was a Joe, a Henry, Terry….Mike…Jim…It could be any of them."

"Sorry we didn't tell you sooner, but it wasn't exactly necessary to tell you." Heero said," I didn't even see the guy, but everything we got from that trip ended up in dead ends."

"Except, I have a face… Two actually, but I don't think the guy with broken sternum was allowed to live after he let me get away." Trowa added.

"This is great…"Duo muttered, still thinking this new information. "We can do so much with this. You should have told me earlier." He said with a little smile. "Ok, Im going to go make more plans." He said, got up and left the office.

The four exchanged glances.

"He took that better than I expected." Quatre said first.

"He's doing better in general." Heero said, and they nodded in unison.

"Well I guess we just wait till he finishes his plans? We told the DA, we'd have it in three days…I hope he works quick." Quatre concluded, and they left the office.


	12. Him

It was tough enough that his leg still ached after taking the cast off, but the fact that after being broken multiple times, his trigger finger could not bend properly, made Duo's insides boil. Duo had gone to shooting range to hash out his revenge, but he was getting increasingly frustrated with is inability to actually pull the trigger. He attempted to use his middle finger, but of kick of the gun was too much and he couldn't keep the gun steady.

"Dammit!" He yelled angrily, and he chucked the gun across the range. It discharged, and left a black hole on the cinder-block ceiling.

"Duo," A voice echoed in the range, and Duo turned around to see Heero.

"What do you want?" He said, a little more mean than he meant.

"I heard you were down here. I thought I would practice with you, but I see you're done."

"Yeah… So what do you really want?"

Heero looked a little taken aback by his friend's callous attitude.

"Why do you think I'm lying?"

"Because lately that's all you guys do. Go talk to Duo, because we need find something out. Is he ok? Does he need something? And the newest one: what is he planning to do?"

"Wow, I really like your attitude toward your concerned friends." Heero's expression darkened slightly.

"You don't need to be constantly concerned!" Duo yelled. Heero took a deep breath. "I'm so sick you guys hovering over me! Just stop caring already!"

"You can't just say that Duo! You don't know how long we've been 'concerned' for you. You can't just tell us to stop caring!" Heero yelled back, finally snapping. He always did have a short fuse.

"Bull shit! You guys don't care that much! All you want the _old_ Duo back, and he's gone! Long gone. He died during those two years. You guys didn't look hard enough…and you lost him."

"Don't say that. When we found you, you were almost dead. You have no idea how racked with guilt I was. That I still am! We know that you're not okay, so we can't stop worrying. Yeah, we want Duo back…but what we want more than anything is for you…the man in front of me…to be at peace." Heero seemed almost desperate to get the point across.

Duo didn't expect that answer. For a few days now, he had been getting increasingly annoyed at his friends' concern. He had suspected that they just wanted their happy-go-lucky Duo back, and his bitterness toward their sentiment continued to grow. He took a breath to steady his voice. Finally he said

"You guys need to give me a chance to repair myself. All this mother hen-ing just makes me angry."

"Why?"

"You want to know why?" Duo said, he couldn't stop himself from saying it anymore. "I know what you're tell me about why it took so long to find me…but I don't believe it. I can't stop feeling betrayed and I'm trying to control my anger by taking it out on my kidnappers…but about 1/3 of it is still anger towards you. It is getting harder to control my hatred. There are you happy now?"

"Not exactly…but at least you're being honest for once. I actually had to come down here and yell at you, to make you to stop lying." Heero straightened up, and put his hands in his pocket. He almost smiled.

"Huh?" Duo asked, suddenly confused.

"Duo…I do not yell. I just wanted to make you confess. I knew you were holding something back, and you get riled very easily." Heero said with his normal mono-tone.

"Well aren't you the smart one." Duo said suddenly embarrassed that he fell into the trick.

"I really don't care about winning here. I wanted you to tell the goddamn truth. I meant what I said, I just want you to be better. I'll never forgive myself for not finding you sooner, but I hate that you had to lie about how you were feeling." Heero then turned around, and walked back to the elevator leaving Duo alone in the gun range.

Duo suddenly felt guilty. He shook off the feeling though. This was no time for that. He pushed the button for the elevator and waited for the lift to come down. When the doors opened, Duo looked up and his heart stopped.

It was him.

The blonde man smiled at Duo, his crooked smile lifted his alcohol tinted cheeks, making his blue eyes seem smaller.

"Well, well, well. Thought you could hide here didn't you, in your precious Preventers building, ha!"

"H-how did you get in here? How did you pass security? Trowa put your profile in the system! You couldn't have gotten in!"

"The one with the ridiculous hair? I took care of him before I came here to you. He never saw me coming, but he defiantly recognized me. Heh heh…" he smiled a little at the thought, and Duo felt sick.

"What-? Y-you killed him?" Duo couldn't find his breath.

"And the other one too... I thought it was you coming out of the elevator…he deserved it anyway. The bastard shot me." He started to laugh.

"Heero?" Duo was in a state of shock. The blonde man took a step toward Duo, and Duo moved back. He suddenly gathered up his anger. "You bastard!" he yelled, "I'm going to kill you!" He hollered and lunged.

The blonde man only laughed at Duo, and Duo swung his arm back to hit the man in the face. But, to Duo's surprise his fist went through the man, and he went face first to the ground. He quickly moved back around to protect himself, and he stopped breathing when he saw that the room was empty.

"What the fuck?" Duo said to himself, his heart was still beating a million times a second. He touched his face, and realized his face was soaked in tears. _It was just in my head..._ He was still reeling from what just happened, but he tried to convince himself that it was just a hallucination. He moved to sit on his butt, and he put his shaking hands on his face.

Duo cried. The sobs came deep from him, and his body heaved with his fear and grief. Those people ruined him. They took his body, his life, and now his mind. He was hallucinating, and he knew that wasn't good.

Sure before he had dreams, and day dreams…but this was the first time he actually believed it was real, and it wasn't a memory. His mind created it. He sobbed, the tears spilling from his eyes. His shaking hands tried to wipe the tears away, but they wouldn't stay still enough.

After a few minutes Duo finally began to breathe normally, and he stood up. He could feel his face was swollen with the emotion, but he didn't care as he punched the elevator button. It was still waiting for him and the doors opened immediately. He stepped inside, hit the 2 button and waited as it brought him to the main floor.

First thing he saw when the doors opened was Trowa. He was walking by with a stack of papers in his arms, but Duo went up to him quickly, and hugged him from behind. _He's not dead, he's not dead_ Duo kept saying to himself.

Trowa on the other hand, froze as arms wrapped around him. At first he wasn't sure who it was, but he recognized Duo's hands.

"Duo?" Trowa said carefully, not sure what was wrong.

"I'm just…making sure you're alive."Duo said in an unsteady voice, then he let go and went back to the elevator, without giving Trowa a chance to answer. Once inside he hit the 6 button, where the dormitory rooms were. They had given him one to stay at until this whole mess was done with. Once he was inside his room, he disabled the electronic locks, and bolted the door.

He just needed to be alone for a little while.

* * *

Reviews are like crack for me, they give me a happy rush that inspires me to write more, faster. :)

Cedechan


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